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These past few weeks I have been extremely busy and therefore simply did not have the time to drink coffees or eat petit fours in cute little patisseries. Juggling work and a child and getting that right next to being a reltiavelt good girlfirend, sister, daughter and friend was more than enough. It took me a few years, but by now my closest friends and family have come to accept this, even actively support me if I'm up against a deadline. But then there's 'the others' - the people who somehow do not understand. Despite you going at lengths to apologize and explain why this week, and only this week, you need your time and focus, still these people get angry and upset with you for not being your usual sociable self. I've been trying to figure out why. And I've come to believe that it's only because I'm a woman. If I were a man, the entire world would be tiptoeing to my every stressful deadline and loving me for being so busy. Not so when you're a woman. If you're working hard as a woman, you are labeled as being egocentric or arrogant. If you're working hard as a man, you are respected.

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Lady at work today: "Is there a way you can look up a song and tell me who sings it?"

yeah... Itapos;s called the internet.... You should try using it sometime

80 of the time people ask me to "look something up" its shit that they can also look up itapos;s so annoying
Especially because of computers at work only allow us to go to certain websites (amazon, allmusic, allmovie, ticketmaster, imdb, pitchfork media, sunrise website, AEC special orders website, thatapos;s basically it)

Itapos;s even worse when they PHONE and ask stupid questions

In other news... Midterms came and went, it was a stressful week, but itapos;s all over now and I feel really good/confident about all the work Iapos;ve done.

On Thursday I saw David Suzuki give a talk @ UTM and it was so amazing and inspiring.

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I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine

Out of all the people I could have talked to.. It was so random.. And I felt kinda bad but it was so nice of him to listen.. He really listened, then he would talk and Iapos;d listen.. It was already late by the time we got to his house so we only got to talk for about ten minutes.. But still.. I havenapos;t exactly talked to anyone about this.. And for him to willingly listen, actually pretty much make me talk about it, was so nice.. And I didnapos;t get flustered or upset.. I was glad to get some stuff off my chest.

I am actually pretty sure of myself now.. Well about this at least.. Something that I know a few people will expect me to be upset about, I am not at all.. I am actually really happy about it.. It proves this to me..

Now I just have to get out of this funk..

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine

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Weird day today. We went out and itapos;s super hot. Itapos;s so toasty that i think you can poach an egg on the sidewalk. It was like the episode of TAI... TV about beat the heat. Even an ice cold container of orange juice and water didnapos;t help. The ac is already blasted to high and in a really cool temperature still it feels like iapos;m outside.

iapos;m still my lazy self. I donapos;t want to go to the internship tomorrow. Iapos;m thinking i wonapos;t finish this one and just change to a community setting. But i never planned to take up the board exam. Why am i still bothering to finish this internship? right, they wonapos;t allow me to graduate if i wont complete this. But why are they implementing laws (if ever it is) or rules like this? this is just a waste of time. Its not even helping. They should at least think of something that makes more sense than this.

anyhow, i almost slept with a frying pan beside me yesterday.pretty sad. Itapos;s like i sleep inside a cabinet full of pots and pans. Unfortunately, i didnapos;t cook any breakfast meals yesterday. Thats pretty much sad. I love cooking pancakes.

next term is a do or die term. I hate that. Iapos;ve never been more lazy to go back to school. I need more good vibes. I know you can give many good vibes.

listening to The Beatles. Having fun listening.

.strawberry fields forever.


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A woman phoned the vets today to ask if weapos;d put up a notice saying she had kittens looking for homes. She had taken in a couple of strays a few weeks ago and it turned out they were both pregnant So she had 11 kittens to find homes for and is struggling with the last 6.

So we went and got one this afternoon She (so weapos;ve been told) is gorgeous, mostly grey with various white bits and a fantastic thin white streak down her back which looks like someone has flicked white paint over her :)It was a struggle to only take one, they were all so gorgeous and tiny So if anyone in Glasgow is looking for a kitten, let me know. They are all shorthaired, and a mixture of black and white (almost fresian looking), with one pure black one.

I will post piccies later, once Noodle is back in with her camera. Iapos;ve been wanting to take some time off work for ages so I will go in on Monday and see if I can take the rest of the week off which means I can supervise as we introduce Dog and Electron to the kitten. Theyapos;ve seen her and Electron is terrified and Dog hisses, so I think Electron will be fine once heapos;s over his fear, and hopefully Dog will calm down as well.

We havenapos;t settled on a name yet, any suggestions are welcome. Actually If itapos;s a boy I have a few names but working on the theory that it is a girl, theyapos;re not much use.

Oh,and Sci bought a PS3 :)
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Thatapos;s pretty much how I feel at the moment, Iapos;m on a countdown till Iapos;m hit with a medical retirement offer ( payout )

Since Iapos;ve been to see the council appointed shrink. Iapos;ve heard no word from anyone about whats happening to me. As far as I know my re-hab officer is still on holidays and I now have about 5 weeks left till my 6 months is up. I went on light duties from the 30th of May so come the 30th of November, that will be 6 months.

In that time I have had 2 sessions with my counseller and 2 with the council shrink the second to tell me that he was recomending that I be given duties with no face to face contact. That has been my rehabilitation in the last six months.

While the anxiety behind the wheel has almost gone Iapos;m still to easy to arc up whilst driving. No more driving buses, this I can see.

No attempt has been made to give me any training in other field Apart from checking canceled tickets, Dispatching buses and filing, this I cannot understand. To begin with I tried to get back to the job but when it became obvious that this was not going to happen at least some sort of attempt to re-train me into another field should have been attempted. This hasnapos;t happened.

What my duties have been has been interesting in itself The afternoon that I was given the good news by the shrink, I told the boss what was recommended. The following day I was sitting at a bus stop In Brunswick St the Valley. Explaining to disgruntled Passengers why these two stops where closed and directing invalid and infirm passengers to a bus stop with no shade on the other side of a major intersection or one with shade further away again across a major intersection. I was doing this for a week. No face to face contact, sure.
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I finally did it. I drew a tattoo that I am actually going to get. I was just hoping that maybe some of the art inclined people that have me friended could help me out with some of the finer details and give me some advise.

I�drew it on trace paper, donapos;t ask me why, so my scanner wasnapos;t liking it all that much. All of the lines are nice and clean, so donapos;t saying anything about that. I kind of suck at tree branches, can anyone help with those? I like the roots, maybe a thicker one on the right to even it out a little? Is the knot too boring? Bleh, any comment or advise is welcome.


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Hello lovies

The other cappers and I are so excited that the community has over 650 watchers So thank you to all who have joined.

I do have one request though - Please (*please please*) do not forget to comment if you are downloading our caps. Commenting takes only a moment and it lets us know that all of the hard work we put into these caps is being appreciated.

According to our stats, on average, we get one comment for every 9 - 10 downloads.
ie: Supernatural 4x03 - 18 comments // 158 downloads Supernatural 4x04 - 15 comments // 156 downloads Life on Mars 2x03 5 comments // 116 downloads.

We arenapos;t asking for much - but we pour hours into these caps, and the amount of bandwidth and webspace that goes into making these available for you, please show us that itapos;s worth it by taking the two seconds to comment.

Also, just a hint - the more comments we get, the more it makes us want cap. More comments = more caps.

Thanks guys.
-Meg + the other INA Caps Mods <3
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